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Archive for July, 2011

Once upon a time there was a prince who looking for a princess…. That is what I have grown up on. Fairy tales that always had the handsome prince looking for his princess; generally speaking the princess was some poor girl who was held prisoner by someone evil in her life. She would need someone to rescue her from this evil person and the prince always was there to save her. This is what our idea of love is “the happily ever after.”  

So what happened ever after? Did the princess have a bunch of babies and the prince never home because he had to work late. Did they ever fight?  These are things that are never addressed but yet this is our idea of love and in a sense marriage.

The reality is kids, bills, and different  ideas about what a marriage should be. I know ( or at least I think) that my husband wants June Cleaver as a wife, the one that cooks, cleans and has great hair while doing it. My idea of a husband is the provider,  lawn mower service and is always romantic.  Well, to say the least we both have been disappointed.   

In a marriage you can  get to comfortable. It seems like the longer you are married the less you feel like  you have to try. I know that my marriage has fallen victim to this. There are times that I have stopped trying and times my husband has. You start to miss the little things. My husband  telling me that I am pretty even if I haven’t taken a shower, the hugs and kisses, saying “ I love you.”  These are the little things that stop happening in most marriages. It’s great and grand to get jewelry and  flowers all that stuff . But its only stuff. It will not keep your marriage together and strong.

Each person in the marriage wants to feel loved and appreciated for what they give to a marriage.  True love can really conquer all with God’s help. I know for that my marriage when God was not the center we seemed to have a lot more problems . But once God got into the picture no matter what has happened we know that God has our back and that has strengthened our marriage.  

I am leaving you with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” … (NIV) this was said at my wedding and times I have to remember that I am not perfect but neither is my husband. I have my happily ever after no matter how imperfect we are.  

 

 

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I love the song by Pink called “raise your glass.”   My favorite line of the  song is “If you are to school for cool.”  The song talks about all the people who just don’t fit in. Examples  the nerds, the G’s, band geeks, all the so-called outcasts that schools have.  We have all felt like an outcast at some point or another. I know that I have. I also know that my son has.

 My son has been bullied a lot in school due to him being “different.”    My son has Autism. So he is different from everybody else.   Some of the kids that he goes to school with him call him names such as  “dumb, annoying, ect…”  He just wants to fit in with everybody else which is actually rare with autism.  I try to teach not to hang around kids that are mean to him. This concept is hard for K. We actually had this conversation today about why we don’t hang out with people who put us down and are mean to us. Then it got me thinking about how as adults we do the same thing.  I have had friends that have put me down but here is thing  I LET  THEM  DO  IT . Why as adults do we still want everybody to like us and think that we are “cool.”  I have seen my family members and friends that keep friends around  that are really unkind to them. 

 Why do we teach our children to stay away from mean people yet we hang around them ourselves. I am all about showing God’s love to everybody but that does not equal DOORMAT!  I will not have people in my life that constantly put me down and make me feel bad. I understand that they are so insecure about themselves that this is the way that they cope.  But it does not mean that I have to take it. Now I am not staying that you need to be mean to them  but maybe it’s  time reevaluate the friendship. A good friend will tell you what you need to hear but is kind and loving about it.

I also don’t think that you should change to make your friends like you better . My son tries to do this.  I tell him “ Be you and if they don’t like it then they are not worth hanging around with.”  So, Raise you glass and be YOU!!!!!!!! Celebrate who God made you and use who you are to work for the Kingdom of God. I know that I am different and I  embrace it!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Let’s get real for a moment….

 

So as I have reread my blog I have noticed that I have not really put out there what I believe as far as faith. So here it is. Let’s get real for a moment. I will tell you that I am still finding my faith. This is a life long journey where I have had a lot of ups and downs. For the most part people didn’t even know I was a Christian for a long time.  I didn’t want to be put up there with all the other Christians that I knew because they were so much more faithful than I was.  But I really don’t want to “hide” my faith anymore. So here it is good, bad or indifferent this is what I believe.

  1.  Jesus is the only way to heaven.
  2. The bible was inspired by God and I choose to follow it. ( as best that I can)
  3. I think that the Ten Commandments should be followed.
  4. I try not to judge others because I don’t want to be judged.
  5. I live by the “golden rule” this is a good guide line to live by.
  6. I try to accept people for who they are and not what I want them to be.
  7. I do not think that Jesus would be a republican no matter what other Christians say. (As you can tell I am not.)
  8. I am who I am God made me this way so why try to change for others. I only want to change for God.
  9. I refuse to act like my life is perfect when it is not. I will not hide my struggles.
  10. I know that God loves me and has a plan for my life.

 

 

Here is what faith is not to me…

 

  1. It is not an excuse to judge others.  Don’t throw stones at a glass house.
  2. Faith should not be convenient. (I have struggled with this.)
  3. God is not a fairy God mother. If I want things to happen then I need to work at it.
  4. God will not save me from all my struggles.
  5. Don’t expect for the church to be perfect. It’s not because it is full of people.
  6.  God should not be a dirty secret. I should share my faith with others. (This is also something that I have struggled with.)
  7. Pastors are also not perfect.
  8. I will not be perfect no matter how hard I try. There has only been one perfect person and that person is not me.
  9. Being only a hearer of the word.  I need to take action.
  10. A reason to be selfish.

 

 

God bless,

 

Dawn

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I failed …Now What?

I decided to write a blog about something that is close to my heart this week. I learned yesterday I failed the Nclex (for all those who don’t know the Nclex is an exam that certifies you as an RN.) This is the most important test to become a nurse. This is also a costly exam (350 dollars each time you take it.) I had a job all lined up all I needed to do was pass this one exam.  As you can tell I didn’t pass.  SO now what? Well as I was reflecting on this failure in my life I looked at in more in the context of stages like the 5 stages of grieving. So here are my 5 stages of failure:

Stage one: Denial: When you first fail at something a project, test, whatever it is. I believe that at first you will be in denial about it. You might say things like “It didn’t really happen.” Or “that’s not my test.”  I experienced this the first hour after I found out yesterday.

Stage two: Admitting: This is the stage you may cry, scream, sleep or just disconnect from everybody. Some may think that this denial stage but if you are in denial then you wouldn’t think of this as a problem. Once you have done all that then you can accept the failure.  I cried for about an hour, and then I just didn’t want to talk about it.

Stage three: Accepting: After the denial stage and you have admitted that you have failed.  You will experience the accepting phase. You now have accepted that yes this did happen and now what. Not only did I admit it to myself, I also admitted it on Facebook. I did this because a lot of people knew I was taking the test and were wondering how I did. That was hard to put my failure up for the entire world to see.

Stage four: Analyzing: Here is the point that you can go back and analyze what went wrong.   I know that for me, I looked at how I studied for the test. I didn’t take a review course and I think that I was overconfident in my abilities. I am not a good test taker and not admitting that I needed extra help hurt me. It is also a time to reflect on how it needs to be different the next time a situation like this arises. So, with the help of my grandparents, I am taking a review course.

Stage Five: Moving on:  You need to move on from the failure and not let it defeat you. This is hard. I am now in this stage. I have changed the way that I am doing things but if I don’t move on from this one failure then I am more likely to fail again.  This is the point of action.

John 16:33 “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world.” Jesus.

I got this from a pastor at my church. (Pastor John Markum, www.johnmarkum.com). It was very helpful to me. My last advice to you is to look at this as a learning experience. Let it make you stronger in God. Let him guide your way instead of yourself. My plans were okay but His plans are far better than I could ever imagine.

God Bless,

Dawn

Side note: I also wanted to say that I have had a lot of support from my family and friends. Make sure to surround yourself with people who will lift you up and not tear you down.  Also prayer is a good way to help deal with failure.

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I think that the title says it all. My day begins today ripping out carpets, throwing away blankets and getting rid of things that the fleas have taken over. I have never had a flea problem in my house until about a month ago. My mom noticed that my golden retriever was itching a lot and informed me that she thought he had fleas. Being the good pet owner that I am I gave him a bath, thinking this would solve the problem. Well the flea problem was bigger than I ever thought it was. Not only did my dog have fleas but so did my cat. Then these little pests got into my carpet and the rest is history. As I am cleaning out every inch of my house I started thinking that Fleas are like sin, it starts off small then grows into a problem bigger than you ever expected.

So how does sin take over our lives? Well I think that it starts off by not acknowledging that some of the things that we do are sinful in nature such as telling a “white lie”. We have all told a white lie at one point or another, sometimes for what we think are good reasons. The funny thing about lies is that once you tell one it gets easier to tell another.  So here is a sin that starts small like fleas but then grows into a bigger problem.  Once you have too many lies it’s hard to keep tract of them then you get caught, just like my fleas.  

So how do we deal with the infestation of these fleas in our lives? Well for Sin the only way to be forgiven and cleared of the sin is through Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for our sins. For my fleas that would be an exterminator. So I think of Jesus like an exterminator for our sins, He helps wipe it out and give us the skills to try not to continue living in sin. Even with Jesus you will still struggle with sin, just like my struggle to keep my house flea free.

So keep this in mind Romans 8:1-4 (NIV)

“1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”

 

I know that you have all heard this before but Jesus will set you free. Just like a flea bomb will set my house free.

 

God Bless,

Dawn

Side note: By husband was less than thrilled that I wrote about this problem.

 

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I want the perfect life!!!!!

As my children are screaming and fighting with each other I find myself saying “I want the perfect life that everybody else seems to have!”  I think that we have all said that a time or two.  Often I read on Facebook or even other blogs how perfect their life is. I sometimes want to put on my status “My kids are driving me nuts and I want to go join the circus!” or “I am so tired of being broke!”  But I won’t put that because it is the appearance that my life is just as perfect as theirs that I want to keep.  I will flat-out admit that my children have a listening problem at times, my husband and I fight, and I am broke.  I don’t always enjoy being a mom or a wife.  Yep, I said it I don’t always enjoy being a mom or a wife.  There are times I have to put myself in timeout just to deal for a minute.

NOW I am not saying that I don’t love my family and feel blessed everyday that I have a great family.   God has always provided just enough money so people don’t sue me. There are just times when my kids are running around a store, not listening that I feel very judge. I don’t expect my children will be perfect because I am not perfect. It would just be nice if they would just sit down when told.  Now my children are really sweet boys and I love them very much. There are also times I would just like to go to the store and not worry that the extra candy I bought my children will leave me with no money for the next week.

I think that part of my reason for feeling like this is because I want to keep up with all the “super Christians” that I know. Now they seem to have the perfect life, or is that all they are willing to show me? That is a question that they can only answer.

So what is the perfect life? I mean the life that everybody else wants. Well the answer is there is no perfect life. Nobody, no matter what people say they still have the same problems that I do. Even rich people have issues. Just look at the housewives from wherever. They have the money and all that but I would not want their life.  I am really good at comparing myself to others and that is something that I need to work on.  I know that God has a plan for my family and we just have to listen and be willing to do the work.

So here it is everybody for all the mothers who struggle to keep face STOP!!!!! No matter what trials you are facing you are not alone. There are other people just like you; all you have to do is find them. You are not alone in this world because you always have Jesus!!!! Jesus always has your back as long as you have faith. I work every day at remembering that God loves me and He is always there for me.

James 1:2-4
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (NASB)

God Bless,

Dawn

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