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Archive for September, 2011

This issue has come up a lot lately in my life.  So I have decided to write about it.  We have all been in a situation where we have felt hurt or wronged in some way. I know that at least for me that is when I go into attack mode. I am going to hurt the person back that hurt me. I feel justified that they did it first so it’s okay for me to do it.  Are we ever really justified to hurt other people?   I say no.

Now I know what you are thinking “course you’re going to say no!” It seems like such a simple answer but very hard to do. I know that at least for me that I have a hard time letting go. I have a hard time forgiving people who have wronged me.  I want them to hurt and hurt as bad as me. That is wrong of me. If I expect that God will forgive me then I need to forgive others. It is really that simple.  

There have been times that I have seen other people fight for months over one issue. Neither one wants to back down nor the person that felt that they were wronged feels justified to hurt the other person back. Sometimes the person that is not back downing knows that they are wrong but to prideful to admit that. I have done this many times. I have been wrong but just too prideful to admit that I was. It has ruined relationships in my life when I couldn’t back down. I felt justified in hurting them back.  YOU are never justified in hurting another person. You have become just as guilty as the person that wronged you.  I know that I can become passive-aggressive when I really get my feelings hurt. I won’t go right to the person but say things loud enough for the person to hear. I know that I am hurting the person. I am wrong in that I am gossiping.

There is another thing that can go into this. I have seen people fight when they ask for someone to keep them accountable in their relationship with Christ and when this person does they get mad. Don’t ask someone to keep you accountable in Christ then get mad if you don’t like what they have to say.  I smoke, curse and drink. I don’t ask my Christ following friends to keep me accountable on those things because I am not willing to change in those areas yet. That is my problem. I want to be kept accountable on things that I am spiritual ready for and open to listening.

 

God wants us to grow with friends that can lift us up. He wants us to have people who we are accountable to. He also wants us to forgive others.  Jesus while dying on the cross prayed for the people that were crucifying him. In Luke 23:34 “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”[And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.”

If Jesus can say that to God while people are murdering him I think we give forgive when people hurt our feelings.

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Raising children is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know that a lot of parents feel that way. In saying that here are the top five things I think you should know before you become a parent.

 

This is a 24/7 job.  Now some people would not like the fact that I am referring to parenthood as a job but it is. I had no idea when I had my first son how much work an 8 pound baby could be. I soon realized that I could go with no sleep just fine with a little help from my friend called caffeine. It was amazing to me that I could function on 1 hour of sleep.  This job offers no pay, no vacation time, or sick leave. But the benefits are priceless.

 

Your children are not perfect. This is a concept that was fairly easy to me. I know that I am not perfect, so they are not going to be.  The thing is there are parents that think their children could walk on water. That is very hard for a child to live up to. I think that every child should have manners and should show respect. This does not mean that they won’t mess up. I mess up as a parent so my children will mess up.

 

People who do not have children will think they know everything about parenting. This is the one thing that surprised me the most. People who do not have children I have found have a lot of advice to parents. This advice is generally unwanted but they seem to think they know it all.  As my grandfather would say “When you have children you know nothing, by the time you are done raising them you are an expert.” So be assured that these people have no idea what it is like.

 

 Each child is unique. This sounds like a no brainer but it’s hard not to compare your children. I have been guilty of this. I not only compare my children to each other but to other children. Parents are very proud of their children and it is fun to brag about them. This should not be done to make yourself look better or to make others feel bad. I try to let my children be them. My oldest son is autistic so he is very different from most children. I had a really hard time not comparing him to other children. That was not good for either of us. My youngest son is my spit fire. Which he came by honestly.  My children are very different and I need to embrace their differences.

 

God gave you the children that you were meant to have. I stole this one from my pastor. I like this because it helped me a lot when I have struggled being a parent. God fully equipped you to take care of the children that he gave you. There have been times I have struggled to understand why I have a child that is different. This is the road that God has given me and I have tried to embrace it sometimes it’s easier than others. But God has given me the children that He knew I needed and they needed me. So remember that no matter what the is going on, you are fully capable of taking care of your children.

 

I am no expert in raising children. I am far from it. I yell at my children , get mad, and sometimes understand why animals eat their young.  I do love my children and want the best for them. I hope this helps all future parents and current parents.

 

God Bless,

 

Dawn

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Acceptance

Acceptance has always been an interesting concept to me. I have always wanted to be accepted in anything that I did. I would go to great lengths at times to fit in. I would change my personality, the way that I dressed or even how I talked to people just so people would accept me. Then as I got older I changed that. Instead of wanting to be accepted I wanted to shock people mainly by what I said. I figured if I had to change so often for people to accept me, then I was just going to make sure that I acted like I didn’t care.  The problem with that is I do care.  I will say all the time “I just don’t care what people think. So what if they don’t like me.”  But deep down I care a lot.

The problem is I have never felt fully accepted in my life. I have been burned by people in my life to the point I have shut down. I have a hard time letting people know the real me. There are really only a handful of people who truly know who I am. I talk a lot but it’s not truly how I feel about things. I don’t have a lot of church friends because I feel like they won’t truly accept me. So, I figure if I just don’t let them in then they can’t hurt me, again. This has led to a lonely life.  

Another problem I have faced is that I don’t truly accept myself.  So, I am trying to find acceptance in myself by looking for it in others. Not the world’s greatest idea.

I am going to take this a step further now. This is also why I have had a hard time with my faith. I struggle a lot with my faith. If people can’t accept me and I can’t accept me then how can God.  I have always felt distance from God due to my lack of trusting God enough to let him accept me. I have a hard time letting God in.  I also have a hard time with changing myself. I have put up this tough exterior so I don’t have to change. I think “If I change then who will like me then?”  I am afraid to change at times for that reason.  The last couple of weeks I have started a new bible study and really been praying about how I can change. I am less fearful now of changing for God. At times I go back to the way that I was. I still don’t reach out to church people but have reached out more to help people.  I am starting to accept myself more but also accept that God does love me for me.  I hope that this will help you to see that you are not alone. We all want to be accepted. But it is more important to accept Jesus then for people to accept you.

 

I am leaving you with this. Romans 14:1-4

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.””

God Bless,

Dawn

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I am writing today about the people who have inspired me through my life. Some of them have been there since my birth others have maybe come more recently. But I can say the same thing about all of them. They inspire me. They inspire me to be a better person.  So let’s get started.

  1. Jesus…enough said…..
  2. My mother: she has sacrificed a lot for me while I was growing up. She helps me to believe in myself when I don’t. She loves me no matter what I do or say (which would be a big job sometimes.)  She showed me how to be loving and kind toward others by her example. I am forever grateful to her.
  3. My Father: we may not have always had the best relationship but he helps me to see things in ways I never have before. He helps me see that I am not as bad as I want to believe that I am. He showed me to look pass what the person is on the outside and look deeper inside.
  4. My Grandfather: He has always been the rock of the family. He always there to encourage me like my mother and father.
  5. My twin sister: We have been together for a long time. She is always there to listen even if I am way wrong and helps me with my spiritual life.  
  6. My husband: He puts up with my excessive talking and he helps me to see when I am wrong. He loves me for who I am and supports all my ideas no matter how crazy they seem.
  7. My friends: H and B. They have always encouraged me and let me vent when I need to. They both give me different perceptive on things.  They fully accept me for who I am.
  8. My children:  My oldest son faces things that I never had to with such strength that would crack me. He loves everybody no matter what. My youngest son is a spit fire (just like his mom) but you want to hear an awesome prayer ask my youngest son. I have never seen a kid that tells God his whole day and say thank you for everything.
  9. Pastor J: I once told him he was like a pastor on crack (of course I said it and then wished I hadn’t) I have never seen someone who is more on fire for God then him. He inspires me to live to my full potential in Christ.
  10. Pastor D:  He has shown me to have compassion for people who I would have judged in the past.  

 

All of these people have affected my life in such a profound way that without them I would not be the person I am today. Now I want you to think about the people who inspire you and maybe tell them that. I want to say “ Thank you” to all the people in my life.

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