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Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

The newest song by Beyonce’ is the called “The best thing I never had.” The song talks about a relationship that just end up not working out and she talks about how that ends up being the best thing she never had.  This song got me thinking about all the relationships that I have had that just didn’t work out. I was engaged  before I met my husband to my high school sweet heart.  I thought that we would be together  forever, well obviously that didn’t work out. I am not sure if he actually cheated on me but he did have an inappropriate relationship with another female (her family and mine were friends) but it ended our relationship and he married her. At the time I thought it was the end of the world but it turned out that he was the best thing I never had. I met my husband and the rest is history.

There are times in all of our lives that we think we find the one but God has other plans for us. I knew that the first time I met my husband I was going to marry him.  He didn’t know that. I had to be patient for him to realize what I already knew.  I waited patiently for a while, gave up a couple of times and broke up with him. The funny thing is that we always managed to get back together.  He has been the best thing I have ever had.

I like this song because it talks about a lot of truths about relationships that there are some relationships that are just unhealthy for both people. God will guide us to the person that He wants us to end up with.  So, just remember if you are in a relationship that seems  more challenging than it should maybe it’s time to reevaluate the relationship and see if this person is the best thing you never had. God has a person for everybody you may just have to be patient and wait for them. As my pastor always says “Be the person that you are looking for.”  That is great advice if you are single.

I will leave you with this in Genesis 29:15-20 “Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.” 16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” 19 Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.”

 

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Once upon a time there was a prince who looking for a princess…. That is what I have grown up on. Fairy tales that always had the handsome prince looking for his princess; generally speaking the princess was some poor girl who was held prisoner by someone evil in her life. She would need someone to rescue her from this evil person and the prince always was there to save her. This is what our idea of love is “the happily ever after.”  

So what happened ever after? Did the princess have a bunch of babies and the prince never home because he had to work late. Did they ever fight?  These are things that are never addressed but yet this is our idea of love and in a sense marriage.

The reality is kids, bills, and different  ideas about what a marriage should be. I know ( or at least I think) that my husband wants June Cleaver as a wife, the one that cooks, cleans and has great hair while doing it. My idea of a husband is the provider,  lawn mower service and is always romantic.  Well, to say the least we both have been disappointed.   

In a marriage you can  get to comfortable. It seems like the longer you are married the less you feel like  you have to try. I know that my marriage has fallen victim to this. There are times that I have stopped trying and times my husband has. You start to miss the little things. My husband  telling me that I am pretty even if I haven’t taken a shower, the hugs and kisses, saying “ I love you.”  These are the little things that stop happening in most marriages. It’s great and grand to get jewelry and  flowers all that stuff . But its only stuff. It will not keep your marriage together and strong.

Each person in the marriage wants to feel loved and appreciated for what they give to a marriage.  True love can really conquer all with God’s help. I know for that my marriage when God was not the center we seemed to have a lot more problems . But once God got into the picture no matter what has happened we know that God has our back and that has strengthened our marriage.  

I am leaving you with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” … (NIV) this was said at my wedding and times I have to remember that I am not perfect but neither is my husband. I have my happily ever after no matter how imperfect we are.  

 

 

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I love the song by Pink called “raise your glass.”   My favorite line of the  song is “If you are to school for cool.”  The song talks about all the people who just don’t fit in. Examples  the nerds, the G’s, band geeks, all the so-called outcasts that schools have.  We have all felt like an outcast at some point or another. I know that I have. I also know that my son has.

 My son has been bullied a lot in school due to him being “different.”    My son has Autism. So he is different from everybody else.   Some of the kids that he goes to school with him call him names such as  “dumb, annoying, ect…”  He just wants to fit in with everybody else which is actually rare with autism.  I try to teach not to hang around kids that are mean to him. This concept is hard for K. We actually had this conversation today about why we don’t hang out with people who put us down and are mean to us. Then it got me thinking about how as adults we do the same thing.  I have had friends that have put me down but here is thing  I LET  THEM  DO  IT . Why as adults do we still want everybody to like us and think that we are “cool.”  I have seen my family members and friends that keep friends around  that are really unkind to them. 

 Why do we teach our children to stay away from mean people yet we hang around them ourselves. I am all about showing God’s love to everybody but that does not equal DOORMAT!  I will not have people in my life that constantly put me down and make me feel bad. I understand that they are so insecure about themselves that this is the way that they cope.  But it does not mean that I have to take it. Now I am not staying that you need to be mean to them  but maybe it’s  time reevaluate the friendship. A good friend will tell you what you need to hear but is kind and loving about it.

I also don’t think that you should change to make your friends like you better . My son tries to do this.  I tell him “ Be you and if they don’t like it then they are not worth hanging around with.”  So, Raise you glass and be YOU!!!!!!!! Celebrate who God made you and use who you are to work for the Kingdom of God. I know that I am different and I  embrace it!!!!!!!!!!

 

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