We all face trials in our lives.  It seems that sometimes others don’t because they don’t ever mention that they are. But we all do. These last couple of weeks my husband and I have faced some serious trials. I try not to think of the trials now as punishment from God. But I have to admit at times it feels that way. I know that I have really screwed some things up in my life.  I know that in my heart that all of humanity has. But now it seems that God is kind of picking on me.  I know that God does not “pick on people” but now it sure feels that way.


There are times that some people face more trials than others. My question is that because some people make more wrong decisions than others? Or is it that some people don’t get the message the first time that God tries to send it? I think that sometimes I must be denser than others to not get the message loud and clear the first time.  Than here is the tricky part….I start to question God. Like “Why me?”Or “What did I do to piss you off some bad?”  I know I shouldn’t but the thoughts start to trickle in my head for some reason. I am sure that is what Satan wants me to do that. He uses these times that I struggle to steer me away from God.  Satan wants to use my fears and doubts against me to ultimately use it against God. Isn’t that what Satan’s goal is in the end, to steer us away from God.  I just know that I am sure for whatever reason (and now it is hard to see the “why”) that God is using this to make me stronger.

If God is using the same thing over and over, then it’s time to start getting the message that he is trying to send. I know that now I let money control the way that I think. But not in the sense that I want more and more. At times my husband and I have not been able to make ends meet. A lot of that is from poor planning and some of it is from circumstances. For my oldest son we have paid out some money for therapies which by the way are not cheap. So I get so worried about not paying bills  and  that is what I focus on. I should focus on the fact that God has always helped us make it through and trust in that.

So I am going to urge all of you (and hopefully me in the end) that God uses these times to make is stronger in Him. That in these times it shows us that we can’t no matter what we think we can do this thing called life without him.  I feel like God wants my attention and I need to really look and see what He wants me to see. I am leaving you with James 1:12

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

God Bless,



It’s that time of year again. It’s officially time to get ready for Christmas. It seems that Christmas stuff goes out in the stores so early anymore.  Then there is Black Friday.  I won’t lie I love black Friday. I love the rush that comes when I get a really good deal.  So this year I went with my mom and my sister and we went to WAL-MART. I am saying this with love, but lord have mercy it was terrible. 


Let me first say that no amount of STUFF that is worth hurting another person for. I mean truly it’s only stuff that in 6 months your kids won’t care about anyway. So, first we decide to scout the store. We wanted to see what they had and see within reason what we wanted to buy our children. (My sis has 2 girls and I have 2 boys).   So, this is how Wal-Mart does black Friday. Everyone goes into the store; stand by what you want (all the “good deals” are saran wrapped in the middle of the aisle) and when the time comes whether its 10pm or midnight they rip opens the items that are wrapped up. So my sister decides to stand by the little people items and I decide to stand by the Lego’s and my mom ran between the two of us. At first it was fun standing by all the people and talking. But as the time grew closer the people in that store became possessed by the greed demon. I am telling you at 2 minutes to 10 pm they were ripping things open and become possessed by something I have no seen before. I was so disgusted at grown adult’s behavior.  I got one of the Lego sets for my son.  My mother helped a lady behind us to get one for her. The first set that I had in my hands were ripped out of my hands by other man that was behind me.  I know! It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen.  So I got the set and my sister got hers and we ran for the hills. We couldn’t make it through the aisles to get out because people were grapping and pushing for their junk! I saw about 15 cops in the store running all over the place. It was like people were going to die if they didn’t get that 5 dollar Barbie.


So we survived Wal-Mart and then went to Target. I have never been so impressed with Target. We all stood outside in the cold. The line wrapped around the building. We had some very nice ladies in front of us and in back of us. We all stood and joked around for about an hour and a half. Then the Target people made rounds and told us that basically if we didn’t act like adults they were not going to open the doors.  That also meant no running to get what you wanted. They let us in at 25 people at a time in 30 second intervals. The difference was amazing. It was still busy but calm. Everyone that we talked to got what they wanted without hurting another person for that item.


I have heard stories about people using pepper spray on a crowd for a TV; someone shot another person for a TV.  My question is a TV worth time in prison? Are you kids going to remember the TV you got one Christmas or the fact that one of their parents is in jail that Christmas?


God doesn’t want stuff to fill us up. God wants us to be filled up by him. All this craziness just showed how greedy we are as a society. Your children do not need every little thing that their hearts desire.  I hope that we all get good deals but remember the real reason for the season. It’s not about what you get but what you give!  Also it’s about remembering the Birth of Jesus!


God bless,


Give Thanks!

Today is Thanksgiving. A day that we are all thankful for all the blessings that are in our life. It seems strange that we only spend one day and say outloud all the things that we are thankful for.  I am very thankful for all the things in my life but I like to say it more than once a year! I thought of this worship song to give thanks to the one that is the most important! So I hope you enjoy it!


Give Thanks

Give thanks with a grateful heart Give thanks to the Holy One Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son

Give thanks with a grateful heart Give thanks to the Holy One Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son
And now let the weak say, “I am strong” Let the poor say, “I am rich Because of what the Lord has done for us”
And now let the weak say, “I am strong” Let the poor say, “I am rich Because of what the Lord has done for us”

God Bless,


I am a Fan……

I rarely blog more than once a week. I am not one to think that my blog is all that important. I felt the need to share this with you. The reason is that it has changed me in ways I never thought. I have been thinking about writing this blog all day. I wanted to give this message tonight because I hope that it speaks to all of you.


I don’t read many Christian books . I love Ted Dekker and have read many of his books. I guess you would say that I am not really into Christian “self-help” books. It’s not that I don’t need the help I am just not really all that into it. That being said I read the book “Not a Fan” by Kyle Idleman.  The reason that I even started reading this book is because my husband did. Yep, my husband made me do it….Okay not really. My husband and I are part of a life group. It’s also called small group, city group, or whatever your church calls it. It’s a group of people that get together once a week and do a study and form a community within a church. So our life group is going to do the study of “Not a Fan”. My husband being the over achiever that he is went and bought the book this study is based off of.


I am telling you from the beginning I DID NOT WANT TO READ THIS BOOK!  But finally I decided to read it before the study. First the book looks at what a Fan of Jesus is. A fan is defined as “an enthusiastic admirer.” I know what you are all saying “Well, I am a fan of Jesus! We love Jesus.” To be frank Jesus did NOT want FANS he wanted FOLLOWERS!  By the first ten pages of this book I was definitely a fan of Jesus. I can talk the talk but when it comes to walking it I ran into a problem.


I truly thought I was a follower of Jesus but after reading this book I realized that I was lukewarm.  In Revelation 3:15-16 it says “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”


When things were going bad I would call on Jesus but when things were good I would put him on the sidelines again.  I am all about the “good works” thing of Christianity. I really do enjoy helping people that is why I am a nurse. But what I have a problem with is the relationship with Jesus that I need to have.  Jesus will spit me out of his mouth because I am lukewarm. That is pretty powerful stuff.


The book also talks about what following means.  If Jesus would come up to you today and ask say “drop everything and follow me?”  Would you? This really got to me. I don’t know if I would. Well, first I might pass out if Jesus came up to me and talked. I am sure that he would wait for me to wake up.  In Luke 9: 57-62 it says:

“As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”

  Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

  He said to another man, “Follow me.”

   But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”

  Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

 62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”


Jesus asked these peeps to come and follow him. The problem is they had the “But” factor going on. I follow you “ But….”  I have had the same problem in my own life. I often think to myself “ I will follow you Jesus faithfully but let me…..”  You can fill in the blanks.

Here is the thing, I am tired of being a “ fan” . I no longer happy with cheering Jesus on like some cheerleader. I want to be more than a groupie of Jesus. I want him to know me and I want him to know you.  I want you to all go out and buy this book. This has changed my life forever. I will reread this book again to remind me that I want to be more than a fan. I want to be a follower.

This Blog is only a small glimpse into this book. I am going to tell you that it is hard to read because you might have a hard time with the message.  It took me a while to read it.

The last thing I am going to say is this in Luke 9:23 it says “ If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Jesus is asking us to die for him daily. We need to come and die for Jesus. Are you willing to do that?


My name is Dawn and I am not a Fan!


Lessons I learned……

My husband and I had put tile down in our basement. This was a bigger job then we ever imagined it would be. We had never done it before so we thought that it would be easier than it was. I learned some valuable lessons while doing this job. Here are the top five things I learned from tiling.

Patience. This job required a lot of patience. I don’t have a lot of patience with doing tedious jobs.   I also had to learn how to be patient with my husband. He had to teach me how to do this while he was learning himself. There were some bad points while doing it. At times I am sure my husband wanted to give up. I know that I did.

Asking for help. I have a really hard time asking for help from others. I don’t mind asking my family for help because in my heart I know that they don’t mind. I hate asking others outside of my family for help. I am very prideful and think that I can do anything without any help.

Perseverance.  I had to learn how to keep going even when I wanted to give up. There were times when we had worked on it for 10 hours that I had to keep going to get it done.  We were in it for the long haul and just had to get it done.

To work hard. I have never had a problem with hard work. But this was much more labor intensive then I ever thought it was going to be. I have never really done manual labor in my life so this was a new experience for me.

 Appreciation. I have a new-found appreciation for people who do these kinds of jobs for a living. I also appreciate the work when it was all done. It felt good to get the job done and now my basement looks awesome.


All these things can also be translated into my faith. I know that I have to be patient with others like how God has been patient with me. I know that I need to humble myself and ask God for help when I need it. I need to preserver when things get hard and I want to give up. I need to work hard at my faith to let it grow. I also need to appreciate all God has done for me. I learned a lot of good lessons while doing this.


God bless,


Vegas Baby!!

Las Vegas city of sin. The one place that movies are written about. You can lose a friend, steal a tiger and still get back in time to get married. People get married or divorce in Vegas. It’s a wonderful place to go and lose you for a while. My husband has been in Vegas all week.  I figured that I would manage just fine with out him for a week. I am blessed to have a family that has helped me with picking up the kids while my husband has been a way. I have managed fine this week without him. I have also prided myself in being a strong woman who could make it without a man if push came to shove.

Here is the funny thing. I realized this week that I needed my husband. I have always wanted my husband around (hence I am still married) but I have never felt like I needed him. GASP, by all women who are reading this. This is a true statement. I made a statement earlier that I consider myself a strong woman and always thought that if you said that if you needed a man, you were weak. I have come to realize that with my husband with us, that everything runs a lot more smoothly and I need him by my side. Now, at first I thought that I was being really weak. I have never told my husband that I really do need him. I am now realizing that it shows more strength to admit you need your husband then it showing that you are weak.

I do the same thing with my relationship with Jesus. I don’t really want to admit that I need God. I like having him around but I don’t really need him. I think as Christians we say that a lot. “ We love having all the perks to Jesus without any of the work.” I think we like to have Jesus “ around” but don’t want to admit that we actually need him. It’s hard to swallow your pride and admit that. I know now that it makes me stronger to say that I need Jesus then it shows weakness. I know that I can’t do this thing we call life on my own. I am still learning what it really means to follow Jesus and I stumble a lot. I still have some bad behaviors that I need to get under control. Admitting that you need someone does not change who you are. The core of my personality will always be the same but with Jesus it makes it better. He helps me with my weak areas and make my strong areas even stronger. I am leaving you with this:

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Psalm 18:32-34 NIV

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

I hope these encourage you and help you to admit when you need your husband and God.

God Bless,



I love this time of the year. From the trees leaves changing to the smell in the air. There is just something magical in the air to me. What I love most of all is Halloween. I am a adrenaline junkie so I love haunted houses. I get such a kick out of being scared half to death. I am unsure why I love being scared soo much but I do. The best part is in the end knowing that you are safe. That no matter how scary it is that in the end I know that everything will be over in 20 minutes .

I think that sometimes God will use scary moments to teach us that we need relied on Him. That in a short time it will be scary but with Him we will be safe.

Have fun this Halloween but remember that no matter how scary life is God will be there.

God bless